The withering eye

I shan't squeal on about this, as you will know the importance of perfecting the withering look of the eye from a very young age - see my snap for one example of a look as disparaging as I could muster.

The withering eye can be used to make a provider check their conscience (if they have been attempting to bully you, for example, or have tried to pass sardines off as pilchards at supper time), or can also be used to stir action when sitting beside an empty bowl or disgraceful toilet tray. Your providers are there to ensure you never suffer the indignity of clearing up after yourself - perfect the withering look of the eye, and you'll find you can spur any required action at a single glance.

If you do suffer anything entirely intolerable, such as no supper or excessive contact with a difficult child - or dog! - try lying completely still in the same place for a day and a night. I think you'll find this inspires the appropriate stroking and treats. Be warned however - do NOT lie still for any longer than this unless you really are feeling dry of the nose, as you may find yourself in the car on your way to undignified prodding.