Light things and hot things

Here I am enjoying putting the finishing touches to my snowcat - to show I'm not a complete whisker in the milk when it comes to shivery outdoor fun, despite my natural love of heat.

As for indoors, heat and light do not necessarily go hand in hand, as I have discovered to my occasional annoyance. You may notice a square box in your territory around which your providers sit (sometimes for baffling hours), suggesting that it offers a glow equivalent to something hot. You'll probably know however that sitting in front of it offers little or no comfort, and you will nearly always be removed. (The light from the box, you should note, moves, and pretending to chase the shadows on it as they flit from one side to the other might win you extra time in front of the thing, but believe me it won't entertain you for long.) Also, the light from the box can be startlingly loud, so unless you suffer deafness, as I do, I'd give the thing a wide tail - except to take advantage of knee time while your dumbstruck providers sit stationary, glaring at the wretched machine.

On the other paw, some hot things do not give light, despite the obvious laws of the sun. Walls, for example, can be very hot indeed. Try lying against them at dark time or in a cold snap, and you may find terrific results. I also advise you to try and get into your providers' beds as much as possible, preferably just as they are falling asleep; they will normally find this annoying to the extreme, and are therefore more likely to succumb to notions of heat in your basket (hot water under-blankets are a good wheeze), just to keep you away. This can be especially effective if you're shedding a lot of fluff, as they're even more likely to do anything to get you out from under their covers (and remember always to make a tremendous fuss if you're simply shut out - this is your territory, not theirs, and they must learn to live by your rules).

The ultimate indoor heat comes, of course, from flames. Flames are the only thing that truly limpify me, and all my guards are down before their warmth - much like when sun basking*. The same outcome is not reached with the small flames you may find on sticks on the table or window sill. These give little heat, and can catch one painfully on the sniff or tail if one investigates. Avoid.

*A cautionary tail: when your guard is down and you are floppy with flame basking, be careful you don't suffer indignities such as being dressed up, or tied all over with string. If you awake to see a black lens or flash before you, move off with extreme caution.